Monday, September 26, 2011

I Read, Therefore I Comment

    So, why do we do this?
    After all, it’s not like we get scads (NOTE:  meaning “a buttload.”  Also, “a type of caragid fish.”  Personally, I’d go with “a buttload”) of money to write on Blogger.
    Oh sure, there’s always the outside chance we could be honored with Blogger of Note.  Man, that’d be sweet.  Not only would we gain the jealousy admiration of our fellow master manipulators of the written word, we’d reap a financial windfall as tons of money came pou....what?  You mean we’d get nothing?
I think one of them is straight.
Please let it be the sailor, please let it be the sailor.
    Not even fish?
    In that case, they can cram their Blogger of Note right up their Village People Welcome Wagon.  I don’t want it.
    NOTE:  This is known in the behavioral science business as “reverse psychology.”  You think they-whoever they are-bought it?    
    Okay, so nobody’s getting rich doing this.  So, I’ll ask again.  Why do we do this?
    Why do we sequester ourselves (sounds dirty, doesn’t it?) in our studies, banging away on our computer’s keyboards urgently trying to cobble together an erudite interpretation of the meaning of life?  Or why toilet seats are made in China?
    Is it because we seek solace from the harsh realities of the outside world?  Can it be a desperate search for enlightenment and inner peace?  Can I possibly add even more sentences which end in question marks?
    While I can’t speak for everyone, I know why I do it (especially since I’m restricted to doing the other “do it” only on Saturday nights).  I enjoy communicating with people from all over the world.  And New Jersey.
    Think about it.  Our forefathers were lucky if they got to speak to someone from the next town over, let alone another continent.
    “Got any feed for my hogs?”
    “Looks like rain.”
    “Okay, then, nice talkin’ to ya.  See you next month.”
    NOTE:  I could be wrong, but this may still be going on in Iowa.
    Thanks to Blogger, I can hold discussions with a number of really bright people on any number of deeply insightful topics from world economics to whether it’s going to rain on pigs in Australia.
    I also learned that “fanny” in England means “lady parts.”
    Plus, thanks to the “Stats” feature, I can also check who has visited my blog.  Clocking into first place is the United States, probably because a lot of us are out of work and we have lots of spare time.  Not surprisingly, Canada, the UK, and Australia come in strong, as well.
Oh, God, I hope it's not this guy
    But, a lot of you hail from places as widespread as China, Italy, India, Trinidad/Tobago (incidentally, are you all called Trinidadians?  Or Toboggans?), Germany, and (this kinda scares me) Iran.  Sadly, my friend from Slovenia has stopped visiting.
    Or has been arrested by the Secret Police.
    As great as seeing the United Nations on my “Daily/Now” audience block, I get a special lift from the comments you leave.  Some make me think, most make me laugh, and all make me grateful that you’ve come visiting (luckily, I have a filter set up to automatically delete all the “You suck!” comments).
    Which, after more than 500 words, brings me to the reason I’m writing this post.
    Antares Cryptos from the aptly named Antares Cryptos blog (a lot like the Nancy S. Thompson blog written by Nancy S. Thompson.  Only with a cool galaxy-Andromeda?-picture) has honored me by saying I’m a great commenter.  This without me sending any money.
The reason we're all gathered here
    Like AC, I really enjoy commenting on your posts and put some amount of thought into what I have to say.  Usually of the wise-guy variety, you can rest assured that, if I leave a comment on your blog, I tried to come up with some witty bon mot.  Or ripped it off from Reader’s Digest.
    So, I’m thinking that’s why he selected me as a great commenter.  Or, I was next alphabetically.
    In the interest of paying it forward, I, too, would like to designate a handful of you as great commenters.  Some of you have been with me for quite a while (aren’t you gluttons for punishment?) while some of you are relative newcomers (incidentally, this means I can throw in a lot of reruns.  Because they’re new.  To you.).
    The best thing about this award?  You don’t have to do a single thing about it.  You can thank me, of course.  But, hey, the only thanks I need is (are?) your continued support as I delve into the perplexities of the human condition or why I put piss cream on my feet.
    So, to make a long story short (too late), I’d like you all to have a gander (NOTE: a male goose.  Not sure if this is the right context) of those whom I consider great commenters:

SherilinR of the hilarious Laughing My Abs Off blog. As I've said before, Sherilin has been suffering longer than anyone here.  Well, except my Mom.  But, that's her job.  Even though I'm old enough to be her father (or much-older-brother-who-never-found-a-nice-girl-but-has-a-job-with-the-Post-Office-and-dresses-up-as-a-Klingon-on-the-weekend-for-fun), she never fails to leave some great words of wisdom.

Jenny from the Pearson Report always leaves fantastic comments on my blog.  Verbose and delightfully longwinded, she reminds me of me.

Robyn from Life by Chocolate always, always leaves me great comments.  Plus, she signs her comments with "xo."  I love that.  Luckily for her, she's way over on the other side of the country so we'll never meet.  So, she has that going for her.

Matthew of Matthew's Blog is one of the newcomers of which I spoke.  Not only does he always make a point to comment, he's the perfect candidate for me to send over some reruns when I don't feel like writing anything new (sorry, Sherilin).  But, I would like to know what "Yeamie Waffles" means.  Is it an English thing?  Like "fanny"?      

  Well, that's it for now. Time for me to go rustle up a buttload of caragid fish for dinner.


  1. Congratulations on being a great really are. And since I live in Nebraska, you'r Iowa joke was exceptionally funny. Nope, we Midwesterners use PCs too. :) But in my defense, I am from Florida.

  2. Your comments are great man. I love nothing better than a consistent, interesting commentator and you're definitely one of them. I try to be as much as possible but I don't think I always succeed at that level, haha.

  3. You SO deserve that award. I have said it many many times and I'm going to say it again: You're hilarious.

    Your comments make me wish you were single.

  4. I hope reverse psychology works out for you! By the way, if one does things only for the money, they're doing it wrong and will go nowhere.

  5. You are a great comment-er; I always know that what ever you have written will make me laugh!

  6. al, i love how i get so many honorable mentions over here at penwasser place. i don't comment every time i read (mainly cuz i run out of time or have nothing good to say) but i'm glad you appreciate the comments that i do leave.
    and AC is absolutely right that you're a great commenter, even if so many of them have to do with urine or perviness. how do you manage to have so many things to say about your weiner?

  7. Your comments are what first brought me to your blog. I'm happy that your humor isn't only limited to your comments. Besides, us ex-swabbies gotta stick together.

  8. I'm guilty of of not commenting that much but today that has changed! better late than never right?

  9. Hey, I got my first peek from someone in Iceland yesterday. That's a new one for me. Have you ever had someone from Iceland, Al?

    And thanks for the little shout out about the Nancy S. Thompson blog written by me, Nancy S. Thompson. Sorry I don't have cool galaxy pictures, but I can hardly figure out how to make a damn post let alone post pictures!

    Anyway, you deserve the commenter award. You always stop by and have something super funny to say. I always rely on you to brighten my day!

  10. Congratulations! You totally deserve it.

    If toilet seats are made in China, I guess that means they know how to take our shit?

  11. You are a great commenter. And The Village People's Welcome Wagon? I am SO stealing that.

  12. Congrats on your award. I always cherish your one liners at the end of my posts! Blog of Note; the only way to stardom for some of us unlucky pips I'm afraid.

  13. Hey! I will have you know that no one has asked me for hog feed. Probably because we don't have hogs. However, the cow is still on the loose cause we keep hearing it in the corn field behind the house.
    Good job on your commenting award.

  14. I would only admit this to you, Al, but I do enjoy being alone for some - you know, wink - sequestering time. It's always good for me.

    Thanks for the great comments and posts at New Jersey and Chaz Bono's expense and for the award.

    Love ya xoxo from across the country,

  15. Let me be succinct and "delightfully" concise!


    From ME (aka your verbose and long-winded ardent admirer) at PEARSON REPORT - keeping it tight, neat, short and sweet...for now!

  16. Oh yah...CONGRATS AL!

    I was so busy ogling my award that I almost forgot to do the requisite kissing of the ring (keeping it PG 25 for the kiddies)!

    See...I'm going to post my original comment in a million bits and pieces to keep it succinct and "delightfully" concise...I'm on a comment diet!

  17. Congrats Al, and glad to know I have some educational value here :)
    Totally agree about the reasons for blogging too, ever since I got my first pc (which was the size of a small shed) I have loved the idea that I am sat in my little house chatting to people all over the world.

    Don't know about yeamie waffles but NEVER google blue waffle.

  18. There is nothing greater than a well thought out comment that lets you know the person read the post, appreciates it, and understands your point of view. There is nothing worse than a "nice post" comment except for a total lack of comments. The community here at blogger or blogging in general is what kept me doing what I I do it because I love it but man is the feedback wonderful. I am so glad that we found each other's blogs and I know I can always come here for a laugh! :)

  19. And thank you Al for leaving your comments behind.

    Entertaining, witty, kind, great commenters need to be rewarded.

  20. Thanks, everyone, for all your comments! They were all fantastic. Unfortunately, time (like me) is short and I had a choice between answering each one of your comments or reading YOUR blogs (which I did-thank you very much). I'll answer you all tomorrow after work.

  21. Congrats! Cool read, following!

  22. Congrats on your award. I have been very slack leaving comments lately. Life has been crazy busy.
    I was once told comments are like crack to bloggers and I think it is the thing that keeps me dribbling on.

    Great Post Al

  23. @Laila: So, is there a Nebraska/Iowa rivalry? Kinda like the Crips and the Bloods in bib overalls? (NOTE: The preceding was from a snobby Easterner who secretly wished he lived in the Midwest. Less traffic, more corn).
    @Yeamie: No, you do great (why I picked you). But, seriously, what IS a Yeamie Waffle?
    @Lemons: I'm kind of amazed that I'm not single. It's fascinating to me that an attractive woman (with sight) decided to marry me. Weird, huh?
    @neatfit: Money, schmoney. It CAN'T buy you happiness, for sure. But, it can buy you a house, and a car, and vacations to Vegas. Where you can lose said money. Hmm, better to stay poor.
    @Eva: I also love that your comments come to me via email.
    @Sherilin: Easy. My weiner tales come from my short story collection.
    @George: So, you don't want the sailor to be gay, either, do you?
    @Israel: Always welcome!
    @Nancy: I seriously will always cherish my Iceland adventures. As to your question, I lived with Mrs. Penwasser in Iceland so I guess you could say that I had someone IN Iceland. As to whether I had someone FROM Iceland.....long long time ago. But, that's another story for another day in another blog, I suppose.
    @Dr. Heckle: Makes you wonder what's really in the General Tso's chicken, huh?
    @MaryA: I REALLY hope it isn't the sailor.
    @Bushman: Stardom without a lucrative book deal. Yep. Won't quit my day job.
    @Ruth: I still find the story about the renegade cow hilarious. BTW, my Iowa comment is my homage to you. But, I think you figured that out, huh?
    @Robyn: Aw, shucks, ya make me blush! xo back atcha.
    @Jenny: Oh, my friend, this place wouldn't be the same without you.
    @dirtycowgirl: I haven't Googled it yet, but I'm thinking I will......
    @Jewels: Thanks! And me liking the Giants, too (by the way, I am absolutely AMAZED the Eagles lost). Here's my prediction: Phillies will win the World Series (well, with the pitching they have, they should. But, you never know. You still have to play the games).
    @AC: I always learn something when I visit. Also, please never change that picture.
    @Justin: Thanks! Back atcha!
    @Mynx: Funny how that is, huh?

  24. TO ALL: I just checked about which one of the Village People is straight and I got this:
    "Cowboy, Indian, and Armed Forces Guy/Sailor are gay but not the others"

    Read more:

    Well, oh, crap.
    But, I guess it makes sense since the U.S. military has repealed "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in favor of letting homsexuals openly serve (which, incidentally, I support. For all my joking, I couldn't care less who someone chooses as their dance partner. And, that's as serious as I'm going to get in this blog).

  25. you're a great commenter :P
    nice post

  26. Should have said in my comment buddy, apologies for not. I posted before saying which is weird. Basically some people try and cute up my second name "Yeaman" by calling me "Yeamie" and I like waffles! There's not much else to it I suppose. I'm always welcome to re-runs as well. Like all your other posts they're pretty damn good :)

  27. Well IF you do don't say I didn't warn you...

  28. @Yeamie: That clears it right up. Thanks.
    @dirtycowgirl: You DID warn me, but I did Google it.

  29. You're delightful! and yes your comments are definitely award worthy ... I'm smiling as always after reading you :o)

  30. Glad to see your commenting hasn't gone unnoticed! Also, I think we have to send a petition to Tobago and get them to call themselves Tobaggans (I also smell a Cool Runnings sequel in the works?)

  31. @Deborah: Take a look at my picture and you'll be laughing!
    @Kid Shuffle: A sequel would be AWEsome, mon!

  32. Penwasser, you are a great commenter. I nearly wet my Depends after reading your comment on my Ukrainian bride story. Hi flippin larious.
    and I agree, Sherilyn and Robyn are awesome. And have some unexpected Ys in their names.

  33. What do you mean we are not getting paid - I thought we got paid by the word (with each picture worth a thousand of them) - Why do you think the BlackLOG is so long and rambling and full of picture …. I just thought the cheque was still in the post (You know what the postal service can be like)…

    Crap that’s my pension plan out of the window….

  34. I have to say that I always look forward to your comments on my blog. They're some of my favorites.

    I'm jealous of your Trinidadians, though! I haven't got such exotic readers!

  35. @Dawn: Thanks. I had to go back and leave another comment, your Ukrainian post was so funny.
    @BL: I know. I'd love to retire to a Caribbean island-which didn't include Haiti.
    @Mama: Yeah, but we get to shovel snow.

  36. You are interested in relocating USA Colorado Springs is the perfect choice for you. Colorado Springs is the one of the finest city in USA. It is the place where you enjoy the latest life style with the comfort. Colorado Springs is the city near the base of rocky mountain and Pikes Park.

    colorado springs hearing aids