Friday, August 5, 2011

We Interrupt Our Posts For a Brief Bit of Thanks

I was actually standing up. Wow, guess I AM short.
NOTE: Since this has the makings of a hideously-long blog, I've inserted pictures along the way.  Granted, they have absolutely nothing to do with the material listed herein, but they'll give you something to look at.  I like looking at pretty pictures, too.

  I know you were all expecting a recap of my camping trip this past week (golly, I have SUCH an ego!), but that is not to be today.  
  Instead, I want to take a minute to extend a sincere 'thank you' to Nancy S. Thompson at her Nancy S. Thompson blog ("The "Nancy S. Thompson" blog.  Ask for it by name!!").  My tales of idyllic romps through poison ivy, Jiffy Pop shrapnel, and urinating on my feet while propped against a tree in the middle of the night will have to wait for another time.
  Nancy S. Thompson at the aforementioned "Nancy S. Thompson" blog has awarded me the prestigious (snooty term for "No-I-Never-Heard-Of-It-Either-But-What-Do-I-Know-I Get-My-News-From-Supermarket-Tabloids") "Liebster Award."
  At first, I thought it was some sort of recognition for my work with youth crustaceans.  You know, helping them get their start by putting them in a steamer pot and slathering them with butter, that sort of thing.  But, no, that's the "Lobster" Award which would come from Eva Gallant at Wrestling With Retirement.  More on you later, Eva.
Sorry. I did say "pretty pictures." Psyche.
  When I realized it had nothing to do with a Maine delicacy (the other being Moose Fritters), I thought that, since it was a German word, it may have a nefarious implication.  For all I knew, it meant "Molester of Collies" or, at the very least, "Amish Plow Boy."
  Luckily, though, Google has a solution for those of us way too lazy to actually pick up a book.  Or ask that nice Amish family who sells shoe-fly pies and cowchip sculptures of Woody Harrelson at the corner store.
  My computer's German-to-English translator lists "Liebster" as "Favorite."
  Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.............thank you, Nancy S.Thompson at the "Nancy S. Thompson" blog.  I really, really appreciate it.  And not just because I've enriched my word power and don't need to write about my camping trip now.
Who doesn't like a little weiner? Ooh, let me rephrase that.
  The "Nancy S. Thompson" blog (written by Nancy S. Thompson) is really worth a look.  If you like Penwasser Place, well, you should still stop by.  Her blog is intelligently written by a lady who really knows what she's talking about.  I admire her skill with the English (and German, apparently) language and sincere desire to be the very best writer that she can be.  In other words, she's definitely no hack like me.  Whenever I want to learn how to be a mature purveyor of the written word (hey, how's that for fancy writin'?), I stop by her blog.   
  Then, since I'm incapable of actually being mature, I write about peeing in the woods. 
  As a requirement of being a "Liebsterman," I have to follow a few rules . To wit:
1.  Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.  Back atcha, Nancy S. Thompson!
2.  Reveal your Top Five Picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
    I hesitate to do this, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  If I follow you, that means I like what you have to say (or that I'm a stalker).  If you're reading this (which begs the question: why aren't you at work?), you will look for your name and may be disappointed you weren't listed.  Please don't feel badly about this; if I could take you all with me, I would (yeah, that's what they said on the Titanic.  Look how that turned out).  On the other hand, if you see your name, you may be tempted to write, "In your face!  I'm a favorite of a guy on a toilet bowl!" (this may be a dubious honor).
I don't know what to say
    Please, let's all just get along.  But, since I need to list five:
    a.  Lemons Dont Make Lemonade    This blog is a real hoot.  I always get a chuckle out of reading it.  Of course, the fact that it's written by a 15 year old (I think) girl from China (or Walmart.  Who can tell?) may give you some pause.  Or paws (if you're a beagle).  But, she's fantastic.  In addition, I am so impressed by her skill with the English language.  I don't know a single word of Chinese (it's all Greek to me).
   b.  Pearson Report    Besides the fact that Jenny writes an outstanding blog, she's also from Canada.  So, you can claim your "Al Gore United Nations Diversity Award" for international harmony.  Unless you're already from Canada.  Then, you can read Jenny tonight.  You really ought to take advantage of the daylight offered by the Canadian summer.  Winter will be back in a couple weeks, eh?
    c.  Wrestling With Retirement    Although not from Canada, Eva is from Maine (so she may as well be).  Eva has demurred from giving awards because they're some amount of work (besides, she has plenty of topics on which to write.  Unlike me).  Still, she's one of MY favorites, so I'm going to recognize her.  So there!  Besides, maybe I can get a place to stay if I go up to "Vacationland" sometime this summer (which, like Canada, lasts a weekend).
I had to give you a little Charlie
    d.  Make Daddy A Sammich    Oilfield Trash, besides having a great name, writes a blog which is right up my alley (NOTE: NOT a homo-erotic statement).  A genuinely funny guy, he also provides some biting commentary on the state of national affairs vis-a-vis (one of my favorite snooty French expressions) the oil industry, football, and the inferno which is Houston weather (unlike Canada, Texas has summer-and transplanted Yankees-pretty much all year round).  He's a smart, timely, and erudite commentator (NOTE: Nothing like me).
    e.  Laughing My Abs Off  I first started writing here in Blogger two years ago.  When I didn't immediately receive a Blog of Note, I left in a snit (my car being in the shop) and took a job with Stephen King.  However, when that internship for the horror master of the New England turned out to be nothing more than carrying his piss bucket and fetching him Twinkies and Diet Coke, I returned to Blogger towards the end of last year.  Now, you may be wondering what in blue blazes this has to do with SherilinR at LMAO (note my clever use of the acronym?  See?  I can write gooder, too, Ms. Nancy S. Thompson).  Well, SherilinR has been a follower of mine since I first started.  In other words, she's been with me since the very beginning.  And, for that, she merits my thanks.  And sincere sympathy.  You really should go read her blog.  She's every bit as entertaining as I   hysterical.  Plus, she doesn't hesitate using the word "penis."
  3.  Copy and paste the award to your blog.  Done.
  4.  Have faith that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.  This works even for agnostics.
  5.  And most of all-have bloggity-blog fun.  As opposed to just bloggity fun.  Hot diggity dog.

I really don't think my invitation is coming
  Okay, my faithful readers, I think you've suffered enough.  I think I'll sign off now.  Besides, I need to finish redoing the bathroom, a project which was interrupted by a vacation to the Dominican Republic and a camping trip to Rhode Island.  My kids are getting very weary of using the neighbor's toilet.
  Besides, I need to head to the five sites above and inform the lucky recipients that I've given them work to do honored them by being one of my Liebsters.
  Like I said, if I didn't mention you above, please don't put a flaming bag of dog poop on my front porch.
  Have a great day.  And go buy a shoo-fly pie from that nice Amish man with the beard.
  You may learn what "danke" means.


  1. Congratulations on your most deserving award. Another chuckle to brighten my day. I'll pop in on your recommended bloggers. Looking forward to your camping pictures.

  2. So I just came back from a safari and when I saw your email, I was pleasantly surprised.

    Thank you so much for the award and I enjoy reading your blog too. I wish my grandparents are as fun as you obviously are. Your insights make me smile. And your compliments...more. (:

  3. Congratulations on this award. You are hilarious, and you've succeeded in engraving Nancy's blog in my brain for eternity. I will check out your blogger friends and follow them...always up for friends a laughs. Have a great day!

  4. Congratulations! ... and well deserved, I'm off to check out your 5 :o)

  5. See, Al, that's exactly why I nominated you. You never fail to deliver the most hilarious comedy act! You're my go to guy when I need a lift.

    And thanks for the multi-shout out. You went above and beyond.

    And, uh, well, I must apologize in advance for what I'm about to do on my next blog post, but I can't think of anyone more worthy. Stay tuned.

  6. Nice post Al. Whats the name of that blog again? Nancy Johnson? Oye, I got to read this blog again to try to find it. Tungsten? Tyson? Wait I'll find it. Wish you could have mentioned it more, but no, I guess it was all about you. (Give a guy an award and it really goes to his head eh?)

    Hey, just kiddin.

  7. My Pal Al - CONGRATS on the Liebster Award - du lieber Kerl (you dear, sweet, loveable, charming guy - yah, lieber covers a lot of territory)

    Alrighty - you’ve singled me out - good man, you made the right choice! I’d’ve done the same if I was forced to pick five pals to go down with your Titanic...I’m a strong you picked right! Not that I’d save you Al, but just saying ya done good! (alright, I’d save you, stop your crying...geez louise...some grown up guys are just so sensitive)

    Okay...regarding your “need to finish redoing the bathroom” - that open air thing you’ve got going, right next to the trash can, seems to be working just fine. No need to spend money on air fresheners, and that trash can is handy for a quick toss of TP or spits - don’t want to mess up the front drive there, do we!

    Now…back to this award...damn, now I gotta rethink my whole know I was going to do my big “REVEAL THE NAME” post...but, in light of this exceptional (and let’s be honest - well-deserved) award I will now go through my “short list” and select the worthy and clever (cause they follow me) bloggers to force into that last (for women and kids only) lifeboat on your Titanic - what, you think I’m going down without my drinking team - not on my shift I aint!

    THANKS AL, YOU ROCK and now I’ll roll…

    Cheers, Jenny

    (I like using your comment section as my own personal blog - this is a whole frickin’ post! - It’s your own fault Al - you should know better than to give the Canadian girl an award)

  8. Thank you so much for the compliment, Al. You know you are a Leibster to me as well! And for the record, you might say I live in South Canada!

  9. Okay, Al, go to my blog and see what I left for you this time. I hope to hell to participate.

  10. Great recommendations, following all the ones that I wasn't already. Thanx for that.

  11. Long and funny.

    Congratulations, Al.

  12. You are my favorite liebster and there's a grade for you at my site. It's not as prestigious but it was the best I could do under the circumstances (i.e., within a very rigid school system and all).

  13. Gonna go check em out in a bit - well apart from lemons, I already lurk on her blog.

    But where are the pictures of you pissing on your shoes ?

  14. @Manzanita: Camping story will come right after I rustle up some answers to Nancy "Panty Questions" challenge.
    @Lemons: How was your safari? Did you see any zebras, gazelles, hippos, or people in pith helmets (who weren't mailmen)?
    @Laila: Nancy's worth it (ask for her blog by name).
    @Deborah: Thanks! You won't regret it.
    @Nancy: Who are you again?
    @Anthony: Now THAT's funny!
    @Nancy: Just kidding. But, seriously...have we met?
    @Jenny: I always love your comments! What's more, lieber is my favorite lunchmeat: "lieberwurst". GROAN...sorry.
    @Eva: MUCH better than North Massachusetts. Ooops, didn't check if I had any followers from the Bay State. Nothing more beautiful than Massachusetts. Especially this time of the year.
    @Miss Rosie: Thanks!
    @Nancy: Do you have a blog?
    @Sub-Radar Mike: They each have their own flair.
    @Clipped Wings: Thank you.
    @AC: Better than short and quick. At least I get to sleep sooner that way.
    @Robyn: I know. C+. I need to go to Chocolate Remedial School (hmmm...I say that as if it's a BAD thing).
    @Nancy: NOW I know you! You have that "Nancy S. Thompson" blog! That's fantastic!
    @Ruth: Not nearly as good as your story about the Iowa Fair, but thanks!
    @dirtycowgirl: I don't know which was worse: doing that to my toes or listening to what I'm sure were rabid raccoons in the dark.
    @Nancy: Goodnight!

  15. thanks al, i accept your sympathy for me being one of your oldest (not chronologically, but rather in endurance & stamina) readers and faithful followers. oh and thanks for the award too. and ever since i wrote that post about the lady-business, you seem to be lurking about more often than usual. what does that say about you? do you really have a mangina? do you need to get a diva cup too?
    p.s. i think it's hilarious that lemons said you're more fun than her grandparents. you old man, you!

  16. Hey there. Wanted to let you know that I have moved from Blogger to WordPress. I wanted to leave you my link since JewelsTurning30 is no more.

    new blog is

    Hope to see you there. :)

  17. @Sherilin: Plus, I'll bet I could beat them in a leg-wrestling contest. Especially Grandma.
    @Jewels: You will see me there. We locals need to stick together.