As most of you know, the “Annual Penwasser Brothers Camping Trip” (strangely, none of the women in our family ever want to go) was held this year at Burlingame State Park in Charlestown, Rhode Island.
It was three days spent reveling in the glories of nature, the camaraderie of one’s family, and the freedom of relieving one’s self in the woods.
Even though my son and I returned home two weeks ago, I haven’t had a chance to tell you much about our trip. Due to other family requirements, answering “Blogger” awards, bathroom remodeling, and creative mental lethargy, it wasn’t until today that I actually had a chance to sit down to write.
The below is a poetic summary of our idylls in the great outdoors. Similar to Thoreau’s Walden (in that both have trees), I wanted to share with you my personal epiphanies that nothing is so beautiful as a tree (or toilet paper) and you should never wipe with a plant that has three leaves.
I wish I had more time, but I am off yet again. Only this time, it’s with sadness that I leave. For I’m taking my son to Virginia Tech where he’s studying to be an engineer.
Despite my initial disappointment that he won’t be the type of engineer who drives trains (I really wanted one of those bitchin’ hats), I am at peace knowing he’ll eventually be able to get himself a high-paying job.
And be able to afford putting us all up at a swanky Rhode Island resort instead of grubbing around a filthy campground.
Who thought camping would be great fun.
So they loaded up their gear
and plenty of beer.
|Leaves of three, do not pee|
But, when looking for toilets, saw none.
Make my underwear soggy
Stupid frikkin’ rain!
|As if ANYbody believes those red cups hold soda|
No alcohol allowed
We Use Red Cups
Here I pee,
hand on junk.
the goddamned skunk.
Hamburgs, hot dogs, beans, and chips
Potato salad, queso dip
Our cooking skills not world-reknowned
Tomorrow, it’s pizza out in town.
Hiking, Playing, Swimming
Games, Beach, Beer, Doughnuts
Drinking, Eating, Farting
Red Cups hold forbidden
FArting contests under
Men being men with
other men. Wow, that
sounds kinda gay.
Peeing next to a tree
in the dark. Or on
your brother’s tent.
What else can we toss into the fIre?
Have you guys been drinkiNg?
Not anymore. It’s all Gone.