Friday, July 15, 2011

The Republic of South Sudan


  Just when thousands of middle school children finally remembered the names of all the countries in Africa, the Republic of South Sudan has gone and ruined it for everybody by declaring its independence from...uh...Northern Sudan on July 9th.

  This has been in the works for quite some time, but a delay was caused when the winner of the "Design-A-Flag" contest was captured by Somalian pirates, who inexplicably wandered too far inland from the Indian Ocean (nobody said they were smart Somalian pirates).

  Now, the people of the south no longer have to suffer the hardship of civil war.  Instead, they'll get international war.  Awesome.

  On the bright side, representatives from Orlando, Florida have been in contact with Sudanese government officials about construction of Africa's first theme park.  Planned for the infant nation's capital, its tentative name is Disney Juba.

NOTE:  While a good deal of the above was invented out of whole cloth (whatever that means), there really is a Republic of South Sudan.  With a new flag.  

18 comments:

  1. Is this where the Bushmen live? I've been trying to find my ancestors and I hear the Bushmen live in Africa somewhere. Probably not the right Bushman anyways.....shucks!

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  2. I agree with you. I saw this in the news and thought wow.

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  3. I don't care. I am NOT throwing away my globe. Even if it still has the Congo and East Germany on it.

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  4. @Eva: just fun with geography. Oh, BTW, saw a special on TV which talked about the culture clash in Maine. Apparently, there's a schism (my fancy, schmancy word of the day) between the southern part of the state and the, shall we say?, LESS affluent North. Lived Downeast, loved Downeast. Never went up ta the County.
    @Bushman: Probably not, but, hey, they can sure chase down a gazelle for you.
    @OT: When I read about it, I couldn't help but snicker.
    @Ken: What about the two Vietnams and the Ottoman Empire?

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  5. My kid starts high school in a month and she knows none of the African countries. I just had to shake my head at that.

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  6. One of my favorites: Cote de Ivoire. Or Ivory Coast. I think it is the world's largest exporter of soap. I'm 99 and 44/100% sure.

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  7. Hey, randomly stumbled over to your blog. About died when I saw your header, too funny. Ummmm, with everything that has/had gone on in Sudan, not sure if I would EVER want to go to a Disney world there. Oh Disney, when there is a dollar to be made, there you are.
    http://texagermanadian.blogspot.com/

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  8. Welcome to the asylum! Hope you stay. I think Disney is looking at the possibility they wouldn't have to use fake insects for the "Bug's Life" show. Plus, the "Wildebeest Stampede" is sure to be a hit.

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  9. It's a baby country! Yay! Maybe now they will stop trying to kill each other.

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  10. Great, another Third World dustbowl. We always need more of these.

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  11. It's the same with planetary systems. Stupid Pluto.

    Also, I know I've said this before, but your comments on my blog make my day! You're HILARIOUS.

    "I was tempted to Google "Fatty Masturbating" but I resisted the urge.
    Instead, I take a mirror into the bathroom with me."

    PRICELESS.

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  12. @Lemons: It's my wife's compact mirror. Don't judge. What's this about Pluto? I thought that was just another Mickey Mouse planet.
    @Tony: Or you can look at it this way: another country to kick the crap out of at the Olympics.
    @Sub-Radar-Mike: Maybe.

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  13. I think maybe someone spilled coffee on a 'whole cloth', then the stain at the bottom chose the boundries of what is now S.S. (or South Sudan). Nice post!

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  14. You mean you made up the stuff about Disney Juba? I still love you.
    Thanks for welcoming me back.
    xoRobyn

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  15. Yeah, I know. No Disney for Africa. Crazy, huh?

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