Just when thousands of middle school children finally remembered the names of all the countries in Africa, the Republic of South Sudan has gone and ruined it for everybody by declaring its independence from...uh...Northern Sudan on July 9th.
This has been in the works for quite some time, but a delay was caused when the winner of the "Design-A-Flag" contest was captured by Somalian pirates, who inexplicably wandered too far inland from the Indian Ocean (nobody said they were smart Somalian pirates).
Now, the people of the south no longer have to suffer the hardship of civil war. Instead, they'll get international war. Awesome.
On the bright side, representatives from Orlando, Florida have been in contact with Sudanese government officials about construction of Africa's first theme park. Planned for the infant nation's capital, its tentative name is Disney Juba.
NOTE: While a good deal of the above was invented out of whole cloth (whatever that means), there really is a Republic of South Sudan. With a new flag.