Saturday, June 4, 2011

Gotta Love the New York Papers


WARNING: Sophomoric post ahead.  You have been warned.

  They have a knack for the best headlines.
  For my non-American friends who don't have the privilege of calling Charlie Sheen one of their own (although, UK? You have Prince Charles and Camilla.  So, it's kind of a wash), you may not know what all the hubbub is about here in the land of Dancing With the Stars.  The congressman from New York, Anthony Weiner (I am NOT making up that name), found himself in a bit of a pickle (pun intended) this week.
  Apparently, someone "tweeted" (LOVE those cutesy Twitter verbs!) a snapshot of an unknown someone's (NOT me) underwear-covered (thank GOD!) crotch on the aforementioned Weiner's Twitter account.
  Well, he initially protested that a foul miscreant hacked into his account and sent the crotch rocket pic in an attempt to smear the good pol's name (I think that ship has sailed.  I would have changed it.  C'mon...Weiner!!??).  Taking umbrage, he nonetheless insisted that federal authorities not squander precious taxpayer money (gotta save that for a study of the mating habits of screech owls and tit mice...yes, I said "tit") to investigate this alleged crime.
  He said he will retain the services of his own private cadre of Inspector Clouseau, his old Cub Scout pack, Angela Lansbury, a troop of circus monkeys, a homeless man and his collection of cans, and a Magic 8-Ball to get to the bottom (as opposed to the front) of this heinous "Weinergate."
  When asked whether the nasty bits were his, Weiner (I can't say that name too many times) couldn't recall whether it was actually him or not.  Of course, the logical next question should have been:  You mean you can't remember if you took a picture of your own junk?  If that is the case, just how many pictures of the little guy do you have?  In fact, do you have an entire album of "The Best of Weiner" on your computer?
  Sometimes, I find myself at a loss when trying to decide what to write here on Blogger.  But, then, something comes along and presents itself as a perfect topic upon which to blather.
  In other words, you can't make this stuff up.  
A Big Weiner

12 comments:

  1. Wow. What a dork (pun intended).

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  2. I saw this picture and I can tell you that it was Farve-esk. It didn't seem too impressive and I probably would have kept that picture to myself...that is if I were a dude and I in fact had a wiener as Weiner does.

    As a woman I never really understood the sending of dick pics...I don't want to see your "proud manhood" up against a ruler and then randomly sent to my phone...undoubtedly opened while sitting next to my 82 yr old grandmother! Would it kill you to warn a woman before sending that!? It all seems a bit high school for me. How is it that people, especially those in the public eye, haven't learned that there is no "privacy" on the internet?

    At least his mistakes are our Saturday morning giggle! I mean look at that dude? That face...that hair line...I do NOT want to see that mans wiener (yet I totally looked at that jockey pic). Ugh...I'm going to bleach my brain now.

    JewelsTurning30

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  3. that's totally his donk, but why he felt the need to send it around the world, i can't imagine. most women don't get all happy seeing such things. maybe it was intended for his male lover. men tend to be more visually stimulated. jus sayin...

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  4. I agree with you.....if you took a picture of your weiner, Weiner--I think you would remember, and if you didn't, you'd remember that, too!

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  5. Hahaha... oh dear... and I thought South African politicians were stupid.

    :-D

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  6. I think it reverts back to a childhood stigma. He wishes he were an Oscar Meyer Weiner 'cause everyone would be in love with him. He's been a love deprived Weiner. Cut the guy some slack! Geez. hahahahahaha

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  7. You are outrageously funny, Al. Even though you can't make this stuff up, you run with it like nobody's business. He "couldn't remember"? That's worse than saying he doesn't have one.
    xoRobyn

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  8. You gotta love the way the rich and famous get caught with their pants down on the Internet. And no- that's not a pun.

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  9. @dbs: No. A weiner. God, saying that name makes me laugh.
    @Jewels: I don't get that about some guys, either. It has never occurred to me to stick a cell phone camera in my zipper and yell, "Smile!" And not only because it's physically impossible for my weiner (there, dbs, I said it again!) to smile...or is it?
    @Sherilin: I don't know why he chose to send the picture over his Twitter. Clearly, the situation called for him to use a "dictaphone." Ooooh,...sorry about that one.
    @Eva: Now that I think about it, maybe he DID forget. He probably has an "innie."
    @Misha: They can't hold a candle (oh, phallic symbolism there) to our weiners.
    @Barb: Childhood stigma, smegma, whatever.
    @Tony: Couldn't happen to a nicer weiner (said it again!).
    @Robyn: I love how life very often drops a topic into my lap. For instance, Mrs. Penwasser and I spent the weekend at the same place where we went on our honeymoon. The gift shop there sold Tampax AND Efferdent. And a twelve inch dildo with a remote control. Expect something on that this week.
    @Jarhead: If they weren't famous before, they are now. And maybe less richer.
    @OT: How can your pants stay up without your ass?

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