Friday, April 8, 2011

April 8th-Brought To You By the Letter 'H'

How May I Help You?

As I've written in a previous post, I've longed to work for a company which shall remain nameless (both to avoid being sued and to prevent an angry mob from lobbing hurtful insults my way). But, it sells a lot of stuff made in China (including American flags).

Anyway, I have a vest from said un-said superstore that I don't get a whole lot of chances to wear (especially when I go to K-Mart).  However, today I tried it out on the neighbors.

The door was open, so I thought I'd take a peek to see if I could offer any assistance. How was I to know I lived next door to nudists?

As it was time to spruce up the yard, the neighbors threw a rake at me after telling me to get the hell out of their foyer.

After a little raking, I decided to have a look at their truck. Somehow, I didn't think I was looking in the right place for the spare tire.

I TOLD them they should lock their garage.  And to keep the Bug Spray away from the Pudding Pops (come to think of it, why are pudding pops on a shelf in the garage?)

Never underestimate the power of a friendly greeting.  And the strength of locked doors.

I wonder if they meant it when they said they were selling their house.

REMINDER: Only three weeks until Prince William gets married!  Make sure your powder-blue tux is good to go.
I hear they're having fruitcake at the wedding.  Well, if Adam Lambert has an invitation, I should be all set (my invitation is probably lost in the mail.  Damn transatlantic postal service!)


  1. I told them sponge cake or I'm not going.

  2. Great Post. Love the vest.

    And I told those royal fuckers that if there is no tequila, I am not attending.

  3. those neighbors clearly do need some help. you should have packed that christmas wreath up for them while you were in the garage. =)

  4. That Christmas wreath in April was a definite cry for help!

  5. @Tony: They're not even having those cool little cosmic brownies.
    @Oilfield: I just hope they have wine in a box.
    @Sherilin: They still have lights in their bushes (which makes it tough to wear pants).
    @Eva: They call it an Easter Ring.

  6. You really need some neighbors with a sense of humor. They are not worthy of yours. By the way, I heard today that the Middletons are asking for more privacy during this time. Good luck with that!

  7. Locked doors are a blessing when it comes to dealing with anti-clothing neighbors. Friendly greetings don't hurt either. Great post!

    Speaking of greetings, I'm sending you some from the A-Z Challenge. It's a pleasure to meet you!

  8. Nice way of getting rid of neighbours you have an aversion to. Enjoyed this.

  9. @Krissy: I can't imagine they'll get any privacy in those heart-shaped tubs in the Poconos.
    @Jeffrey: Thanks for stopping by!
    @Rekha: Yeah, some people have NO sense of humor.

  10. Hahaha nice way to get rid of unwanted neighbors. *takes notes*


  11. Too funny. But, I would be carelful about walking into houses with their doors unlocked. You never know they may be walking from the shower to their bedroom naked and you may see something you don't want to see or maybe see. lol Sometimes I do it. So, you never know.

  12. Welcome back. When did they let you out?

  13. You crack me up with every line, Al. You're one of my favorites! I think you should wear that vest to the royal wedding.