Thursday, March 10, 2011

Proof



  One of the comments on my list of "Things To Do Before I Die" asked whether I was a Wal-Mart door greeter. I replied that I was not, but I did have a vest from that fine establishment where you can buy everything under the sun that's made in China.
  Plus, you haven't lived until you drift into a fart cloud while browsing through their housewares and underwear section.
  Anyway, the reason I have one is that, while I was still in the Navy, I used to wistfully opine that I would like to be a Wal-Mart door greeter when I retired.
  Well, the wife of a friend picked up on my wish and made me a vest as a sort of "jump start" to my next career.
  To date, I am not an employee of Wal-Mart.
  And, if anyone from Sam Walton's store reads this, I probably never will be.

  Which is a shame.  Because, if the movies have taught us anything it's this:
  K-Mart sucks.

9 comments:

  1. I miss the blue light specials though.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh...career military man. That explains youf comfort at doing your business outdoors next to the garbage can!

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Oilfield: me, too..."Attention, K Mart shoppers, we have a special today on mens underwear. The prices are slashed and so is the underwear. Thank you for shopping K Mart."
    @Eva: Ohhh, it explains a lot!

    ReplyDelete
  4. eva's comment's funny!
    i think you should wear the vest while doing yardwork or while doing other mundane tasks. dishwashing, grilling, laundry, car washing, errand running.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Now that you told me, don't think I won't! In fact, I may wander over to the next-door neighbor to see if I can help them with something. If I can talk one of perpetually embarrassed family members into doing so, I'll get some pictures.
    Looking forward to warmer weather.

    ReplyDelete
  6. C'mon now. Do you seriously "wistfully opine?" I'm not buying it. Although with you, anything is possible. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Attention Shoppers. Clean up on Al 5."

    I have no idea what that actually means.

    ReplyDelete
  8. looking forward to pictures of you helping your neighbors take out the trash or maybe some raking. maybe you could get their poopsicles for them while you're at it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. @Krissy: ok, not really, but I do pedantically ponder.
    @Antares: that's really pretty clever!
    @SherilinR: oh, you'll see some pictures. It's great idea. It's probably obvious I'm not above taking silly photographs.

    ReplyDelete