I’m also toying with the idea of writing a world history from the Age of the Caveman until the Era of Sheen (which is probably the same thing).
Speaking of Charlie....
Whenever I’m at a loss for something to write about, I can always count on Lindsay, Mel, and Charlie for a couple of cheap laughs. Now be honest. When you saw their pictures, you at least smiled a little, right?
Oh, hell. While we're at it, how' bout a little Cher and Elton?
Anyway, this “history special” will be a service to homeschoolers and the homeless alike. I hope it will be a valuable resource for those who wish to bone (NOTE: rare example of a clean use of the verb ‘bone’) up on the intricacies of who we are, where we came from, and the voodoo that we do.
One caveat, though. I won’t be using any reference material and will rely solely on what I can remember. So, since I last went to school when the president was falling down the stairs of Air Force One, I may have forgotten a thing or two. It’s at that point I will make things up (i.e., the first french fries were made in Greece. It's a bad joke. Say it out loud. You'll know what I mean).
If your life depends on it, you may want to get your facts from a reputable source. Like Wikapedia. Or Sarah Palin’s Facebook page.
|NOTE: Recycled picture|
The way I look at it, this does two things: a) gives you a quick chuckle during your busy day and b) gives me a way to shill cheap laughs without a whole bunch of work.
Or, I’ll come at you with something completely random. Like where in the hell is my invitation to Prince William’s wedding? I’ve already bought my powder-blue tux and tails.
There’s a few areas I plan on addressing: tightey-whiteys, 8 track players, mobile home swimming pools, hemorrhoid surgery, automobile pooping, and others bits of TMI. I promise I will get to them. I'm only one (admittedly little) man!
I'll break excruciatingly long posts (like this one) into two or three parts. I realize how busy you all are, so I don’t want to force feed you something that will take more than a couple minutes to scan (once again, like this one). If nothing else, I can stretch out one topic to cover a couple of days (finally, just like this one).
Sometimes I may even omit something like vowels jst t spd thngs lng. Hll, wh nds vwls, nywy? (ok, grammar police, I know ‘y’ can be a vowel. But, it can also be a consonant. Sue me.).
A lot of things and a lot of people make me laugh. And not just the thought of Michael Moore at Jenny Craig. This includes most of you. You inspire me to
plagiarize be all that I can be whenever I take pen to paper (or two fingers to keyboard).
I’d rather not list who it is on Blogger who makes me cackle in the middle of the night, thus scaring both wife and dog. Even though I have the best of intentions, I’m sure I’d forget one of you. Then, you get all hacked off at me and fire off some snippy comments. Comments sure to make me cry and forget to put on pee cream before bed (see? I told you the concept of pissy feet had legs-pun intended).
Suffice to say that, if I follow your blog, you make me smile. And, if I regularly comment on your blog, you often make me laugh out loud. If I send you requests for money, I’m a Nigerian prince.
To sum up (finally!)....You have a variety of blogs from which to choose. I thank you for making “Penwasser Place” your choice of blogs.
Next: A “Once Upon a Time” story...