I was recently given a major award (sadly, it wasn’t a plastic leg lamp): the “Stylish Blogger Award.”
When I saw my blog listed as one of the recipients, I was all atwitter although, since I sometimes don’t wear pants when I write, I have serious doubts about just how “stylish” I am.
Plus, have you seen the picture I use for “Penwasser Place?”
Well, I suppose if golfers can be called “athletes” and Snooki can be considered “sexy,” I guess I can be “stylish.”
So, thanks a bunch, holsterrsss from Gormless Expression. You should check out her blog. I did and, much to her chagrin, I stayed on as a
I’m going to try to insert the link to her blog. Wait a minute...um...no that’s not right...nobody wants to see those pictures of when I attended the “Ru Paul Day Camp.” OK, here we go...NOW!
Hopefully, that worked.
Anyway, “Stylish Blogger” comes with many valuable prizes which is why you should be jealous of me. In fact, I even had Ed McMahon show up at my door with a Publishers Clearinghouse check. Which is a pretty neat trick. Since he’s dead.
On the other hand, since we’re asked to nominate 15 other bloggers after we receive our award, this honor has been passed around as much as Lindsey at a kegger.
Eventually, if this person nominates 15 bloggers and those people each nominates 15 others, we’ll all have a sparkling virtual award for our desktops. It’ll be a lot like Little League where even the kid with no head gets a participation trophy. Yessir, it’s a brave new world.
On the other hand, it could be worse. Imagine how sucky it would be if nobody knew you even existed. Yeah, now you know how MSNBC feels.
Another thing we’re supposed to do is provide seven true facts about ourselves. Why seven and not ten is beyond me. Maybe the first recipient of this award didn’t feel like writing more than seven. Or couldn’t think of more than seven. How sad is that?
Heck, if he (or she) asked, I could have at least given them Fact #8: “I’m so dreadfully boring, I can only think of seven interesting things about me.”
But, I can certainly provide seven, if not true, then kinda true facts about a guy who feels no qualms about sitting on a curbside toilet. And, the way I see it, they only have to be interesting to me. They don’t necessarily have to be interesting to you.
In no certain order, I present some insight into what makes me tick. Well, in no certain order mostly because they’re significant in their own right. And I didn’t feel like putting them in order.
Believe it or not, these are completely factual. As far as you know.
1. If you comment on my blog, yours is the first one I’ll read. (NOTE: This is in no way meant to “guilt” you into commenting. Much.). I still wish that guy from Slovenia would "hollah" at me.
2. I like to use “parentheses” and “NOTE:” quite a bit whenever I write (NOTE: Just like now.)
3. I have not been invited to Prince William’s wedding. Which ordinarily wouldn’t bother me, except that I’ve already bought the damn cheese fondue set at Penney’s.
4. I have farted and blamed the dog.
5. Whenever I get junk mail, I mail the empty “No Postage Necessary” envelope back to whoever sent me that offer for a new credit card to Sonic in the first place.
6. I have set all the egg timers in the mall kitchen store and ran out before they went off in one minute.
7. I was in the Navy for 27 years. Nope, nothing sarcastic to say. The government is watching.
Wow, you’re kidding me. I have to stop there? There’s lots more interesting things to say. Man, I really feel sorry for that schmuck who was stumped after seven.
But, if I could give you just one more, I’d have to concur with Oilfield Trash (another “Stylish Blogger”) when he was asked to pony up a few kernels of oily wisdom. He said he thinks of weird shit. Not to parrot him (golly, that sounds dirty), but I also think of and write down any goofy nonsense which comes to mind. To quote John F. (or was that Bobby? Or Ted? Well, whoever.) Kennedy: “Some men see things and ask why, some men see things and say why not, I see things and say man, that’s some weird shit. I bet I can make some people laugh.”
Anyway, I think that’s why I enjoy reading his blog. I think we’re of a common mind that way (sort of a Bush-Quayle team. Only with brains). You can check out his blog, Make Daddy a Sammich, below (I think I got this whole “insert link” stuff down cold now):
Well, I guess I should nominate 15 other folks here.
However, rather than going through all the trouble of doing so (believe me, monkeys can write the Bible faster that I can type. And with fewer errors.), may I direct your attention instead to the blogs I follow?
Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s kinda lazy of me. But, I have crippling arthritis in my fingers. No? Would you believe I have no hands? No?
OK, I’m frikkin’ lazy.
Still, if I’m one of your followers, then you are most definitely a “stylish” blogger.
Especially if you keep your pants on.