Monday, January 4, 2010

Back to the Past

 All the people in my town are out of their minds that a Sonic Drive-In is coming (well, not ALL. Annie the Cat Lady would just as soon as urinate in the street and talk to telephone poles as order a double cheeseburger with a malted).
  For those of you who do not know, Sonic is an admittedly nice fast food joint. They offer pretty good food for reasonable prices. Plus, they have those funny ads on TV. So, I kinda understand the hysteria taking place.
  But, it has-to me, anyway-a drawback. You have to order your food from a speaker and the waitress or waiter comes to your car to hang your food on a tray off your car window. It's almost like those car hops in "American Graffiti" (without the roller skates, of course). If you'd rather eat inside, you're out of luck because Sonic has no real indoor dining. The best they can offer are some tables outside, which can be pretty daring in the winter. To say nothing of having to deal with those annoying flocks of kamikaze seagulls who love french fries as much as the next guy.  Or bird.
  In my opinion, this is a step backward in fast food dining. As a child growing up, I remember...
Early 60's: Oooh, a McDonalds is coming to town! So what if we have to go to the walk-up and bring our food back to the car? Have you had those fries?
Early 70's: Hey, the new McDonalds has inside dining! So, now we can take our Big Macs in environmentally unsafe styrofoam containers and pound of fries cooked in transfat oils to a table. Screw the car! Eating in your automobile is for Canadians (who knows? I'm just guessing).
Early 80's: There's a Drive-Thru at the McDonalds! That's great because I have no time or patience to eat indoors with all those damn kids running around like Viet Cong with Happy Meals. I'd rather eat my food on the go and slop tomatoes and mayonnaise on my lap while zipping through traffic on I-95. How cool is that?  
Today: Hoopee, doopee! There's a Sonic coming to town! I don't even have to get out of my car! I can eat from a tray hanging off my window! Ain't progress great!?
  Anyway, I'll probably go to Sonic. Sure. But, it's really interesting how we're all excited about being able to do something we were doing 50 years ago (which, in my case, also includes peeing while standing up). I'm just saying.
  Now, if you'll excuse me, I see Annie the Cat Lady eyeing the bushes at the end of my driveway.


  1. Grand Rapids is a test market for a lot of chains..Sonic came and went- and is now back..I heard they were owned by Koreans!

  2. That may explain why I never see any dogs or cats loitering outside one of their establishments. Oooh, I'm sorry, that was a cheap shot.

  3. My kid in K.C. raves about their breakfast sandwiches.. I am old enough to remember car hops and trays delivered to the car... Actually I'm old enough to remember holding the bow line to Noah's Ark...

  4. My only experience with Sonic was one in Delaware. I ordered onion rings which tasted terrible. The batter they used for the rings was real sweet-it tasted like they mixed up sweet batter for regular breading. But, I'm willing to give it another try, hoping that my experience was just an aberration. It just strikes me as funny that a lot of people in my town are all hot and bothered about the chance to eat in their cars. Pretty funny. Next, they'll probably get all lathered about taking a dump in a small wooden house.

  5. They have a rather dizzying array of milkshakes, malteds and freezes. This is only significant to a select few who worship milkshakes. Not thinking of anybody in particular... (whistles and looks up at sky)